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- “Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, ZZ so… maybe calm down.”
- “Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and make bad decisions.” –
- “Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.”
- “If life doesn’t break you today, don’t worry. It will try again tomorrow.”
- “A thousand-mile journey starts with one step. Then again, so does falling in a ditch and breaking your neck.”
- “Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.”
- “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” –
- “Just because you are unique doesn’t mean you are useful.”
- “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
- “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” –
- “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
- “Nothing says ‘you’re a loser’ more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.”
- “Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.”
- “Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.”
- “Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.”
- “There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.”
